dude i'm inner monologue high
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
