He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Still dying that you shit outside
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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