wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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