There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
