Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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