um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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