: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
