It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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