So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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