when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I intend to get homeless drunk
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
