...so i touched it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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