When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
