I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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