I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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