i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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