I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
