Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
