I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
