Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
