Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
