I think my vagina is haunted
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
