She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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