honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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