Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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