i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
