Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
