Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
