I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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