why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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