Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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