So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
