What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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