is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You left your phone here
Wait...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
