When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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