I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
