dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The adults are the big ones right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
