dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ladies don't puke and tell
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize