Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
