K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
