just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They took my balls.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
