Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
