Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
