weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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