i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
