he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
