I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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