If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
