i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
