Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just want nice things and good sex
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
