she was so not down for the gang bang
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
