She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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