someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize