Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
