Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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