I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Bring me that man meat
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize