It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
