she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
