I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ketchup is God's man juice
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
