i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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