Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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