last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
