I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
