Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
