I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Be still, my beating vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
