We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
