So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Everything about him screamed your future.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize