question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
