I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize