Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
