So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
