Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
