The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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