her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize