It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Come on in and take your pants off
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