After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
