I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
