i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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