ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
